On Giving and Receiving: Holiday Remembrance To Honoring Personal Power
Most of our current ways of thinking both about giving and receiving tends to be quite convoluted and misinformed. Most ‘disappointments’, boundaries being-crossed, passive-aggressiveness, and aggressiveness stems from assumptions on the basis of giving and receiving. Someone along the way of these emotions expressed felt they were not getting what they felt owed. This form of giving and receiving is built on the theory that power is outside of ourselves.
As an emotional body mapper, I always begin with a question when looking for the root cause of my pain, emotional or physical. “Where/who/what am I giving my power to currently AND how is this serving me?”
I believe because of this statement I have healthier relationships than ever before and understand the value of self-care, giving, and receiving in a completely different light than that of the way we are culturally trained.
There are a few types of giving:
Giving to receive/hope/expect something in return.
Giving for the Joy of giving/ because you wanted to give.
Giving because you are ‘supposed to’/guilt. (This can even be classified as because God/Allah/Buddha/Confucius or whoever else said so culturally, socially, or religiously.)
Giving for the Joy of Giving
These 3 play a role in almost every relationship in life and can creep up in all of us. There has definitely been times I have said I love you to my husband just to hear it back. I am guilty of doing this knowing it is not in my power when I am expecting/hoping.
The second version of giving I would say is by far the highest form of keeping your power and maintaining a full cup of gratitude. When you give from a space of joy and because you want to, you are automatically making sure your boundaries are not being crossed nor are you giving with the feeling that you are overextending yourself. You are giving because of authentic compassion and consideration. That knowledge alone will make you feel good about yourself in a deep and meaningful way that is much more fulfilling than any lost compliment.
WHEN YOU GIVE BECAUSE IT’S JOYFUL, YOU AUTOMATICALLY RECEIVE THE INFINITE LOVE AND REMEMBRANCE OF YOUR FULL CUP. THIS IS THE GRATITUDE CYCLE.
When we give because we are expecting something, we feel drained if we do not receive something/sometimes even a very specific something in return. Putting the power into someone else to do something is an immediate loss of self. We at that very moment are forgetting the magic that we have within by thinking that another can even fulfill this very nature of our existence.
Giving --> empty heart --> asking, needing, wanting others to fill --> disappointment, sadness, loneliness, disempowered
Putting the power into someone else to do something is an immediate loss of self.
Even love in it of itself is merely a reflection of the infinite magic that we have within our very beings. So, to seek that affirmation elsewhere will always be deemed somewhat false compared to the perfect ways we can and want to. In other words, if you want to hear someone tell you that you are beautiful instead of telling yourself that you are beautiful, the words you hear from someone else will be empty of the power even when received.
You, “Tell me you think I am pretty.”
Them, “you are pretty.”
You, “I don’t believe you.”
Them, “I don’t know how to make you believe me.”
You, “ Tell me you think I am cool.”
Them, “You are super cool.”
You, “Now, you are exaggerating.”
This kind of conversation can go on a loop for a long time without self-belief or self-affirmations. It can even stick for a minute, but will easily dissolve if the self reflection isn’t already been put into play and practice.
You cannot receive what you don’t already have within you to begin with. The power is in recognizing that it is ALL already a part of you. When you give from a willing and joyful space it reminds you of the reflection simultaneously. It reminds you of your power and magic and beauty. Instead of seeking the ‘compliment’ outwardly, understand the one inwardly last for an infinite amount of time when believed. Self-love takes time and there are no shortcuts, you won’t get self-love from compliments from someone else.
Giving because you are supposed to is an entirely different way of depleting power.
Obligation!
Obligation in it of itself is a cultural, religious, or sociological falsity. There is very little in this world that is an actual obligation if anything. I would say most of the times people think they have an obligation is because deep down they don’t think anybody would/could/will replace them. It is both an ego/pride related action-statement and a way to feel selfless while overstepping personal boundaries. Example, this one is a bit harsh, but one that I think will get my point across quickly. If you don’t want to be a parent, there will be people that step up that really want to be parents, community leaders and change-makers. If you don’t want to run your business anymore/work at your job, someone can replace you. The idea that you are irreplaceable is a bit of a megalomaniac point of view, and very often it is meant selflessly.
When I was running a nonprofit, I feared stepping down and did not think anyone would replace me. Of course, someone did. Life went on and there were many nonprofits that grew since I have left and beautiful people doing beautiful things with the community. I felt it was my born duty to do what I was doing. I let my ego think I had to ‘fix’ people that were not even asking to be fixed sometimes. P.S.: I am highly opinionated, so you could see how perhaps a person with super compassion for the world may also sound like an ass to a lot of people just trying to live their life could sound. Social justice is not always appreciated, haha.
Give because you WANT to, because it FEELS GOOD and because you know that you will have the JOY of giving fill your heart with gratitude.
To finalize a bit of this rambling on giving; give because you WANT to, because it FEELS GOOD and because you know that you will have the JOY of giving fill your heart with gratitude. It won’t mean you will stop giving, it just means you will stop feeling owed, emptying your cup, and probably have even more energy to give when you want to knowing you are the powerful giver that you are.
Asking for help is even a powerful tool of giving. Because if you are asking for help from those that want to give to you, you are in turn giving them the JOY and GRATITUDE to be able to provide service to an amazing person like you!
If you get joy out of giving so do your friends, family, and partner/s.
Give love, receive love. Let the circle of gratitude be fulfilled this year.
Join us in our 3rd Masterclass in the month of February on LOVE!!
Yes, but it is not the usual Valentine’s mushy mushy stuff.
This is about YOU!
This is about owning your magic and making sure your cup is always full!
1. Learn what true selfless giving and receiving looks like.
2. Learn how to ask for help and understand its strength.
3. Learn how to understand your boundaries and how that aids in your giving and receiving.
This is a powerful Masterclass that will support both your life, love, family, and business. The more you understand the principles of giving and receiving, the healthier that you become in your overall wellness.
This is the essence of what plays a toll on physical health and feeling empowered. It starts here and now.
Let's do this!
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